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If you are learning how to code, tired of “Tutorial Hell”, or feeling behind, this series is dedicated to you.
There was a point when I somehow gaslighted myself and everyone else that I knew how to code.
I could build things, ship small projects, and follow tutorials easily. I even thought, “This is easy”, while being so eager to pick up the next project.
But deep down, I felt like I was one hard technical question from getting exposed.
What Imposter Syndrome Actually Felt Like
Comparing myself to more senior engineers
Thinking developers “just know” basically everything
Feeling slow when debugging
Googling things every 10 seconds meant I wasn’t smart
So, what changed?
One day, I was trying to fix a bug for a class project at my university. The application we were working on was the Coeur d’Alene Online Language Resource Center, a community-led language technology project designed to support a low-resource, minoritized language community.
My professor and her husband were leading the development. They had worked for NASA. Talking to them sometimes felt like I was listening to another language entirely. The way they thought about systems, architecture, and edge cases was on a completely different level.
Being around them made one thing very clear. I was not there yet.
I tried to absorb everything like a sponge. But I still had that bug sitting in front of me, and I felt small asking for help.
What surprised me was this: they were stuck on the same bug, too.
Even with decades more experience, they were still reasoning through the problem, checking documentation, searching online, and testing assumptions. The difference was not that they knew everything. The difference was how calmly they approached not knowing.
That moment shifted something in me.
I realized that becoming an “all knowledgeable” developer is not the goal, because that developer does not exist. There will always be something new, something unfamiliar, something that breaks in a way you have never seen before.
Technology evolves. Frameworks change. Tools update. We are all permanent students in this field.
And that is not a weakness. It is the job.
What I Realized
Engineering is about solving problems, not memorizing answers or instantly knowing how to fix every issue in your head.
Confidence does not come from talent. It comes from repetition. From breaking things. From sitting with frustration long enough to understand what went wrong.
You have to get used to failure. It is not a sign that you do not belong. It is proof that you are pushing yourself into new territory. Failure is uncomfortable, but it shapes you into the kind of engineer others can rely on.
Lean on the engineers around you. Lean on online communities. Ask questions. Then turn around and help someone else when you can.
The real difference between you and senior engineers is not intelligence.
They just kept building.
What I Would Tell a Beginner
You are not behind. Trust YOUR process, and feeling confused is one step closer to figuring it out.
Let’s Build It Beautifully,
Fab